Permission to Prioritize
I am writing this up in Williamstown, Massachusetts - a place where I’ve spent the majority of the last 5 years. It’s fantastic to be back up here with familiar faces, familiar roads to ride and drive along, and a feeling of home. I arrived just over one week ago and was immediately hit with the familiar excitement to hang out with as many people as possible and do as much as possible socially.
There is an energy among the organization I worked for in Williamstown of endless positivity and an always outgoing spirit - something that can be both overwhelming and invigorating, depending on one’s personality or mood. I was reminded of how easy it is to get swept up in this river of excitement and of the many times where I got caught up in saying yes to everything. Since being away from Williamstown for a while now, I have grown in my independence and learned a lot about my own priorities and remaining mindful of them.
I could feel my priorities and clarity on thought slipping down the ladder to make way for what I have placed great importance on for so long: saying yes and making others happy.
The transition from going to college in Gambier, Ohio to living in another small college town in Williamstown felt natural in 2018 when I moved here - I was excited to be around other young, energetic people who wanted to be doing things together all the time. At times, however, I felt that I was quick to say yes to things and events without thinking about how doing so impacted my own goals and priorities. During my years living up in northwest Massachusetts, I thought this social dynamic was a unique feature of working for this small company in this small town with my peers, but time away has shown me it’s actually quite common regardless of place and circumstance.
Wherever I have found myself since leaving Williamstown in August 2021, whether on bike or otherwise, there have been moments where that feeling, that inner urge to say yes to anything and everything, has crept back up. I could feel my priorities and clarity on thought slipping down the ladder to make way for what I have placed great importance on for so long: saying yes and making others happy. In some of these moments, I have started to experiment more and more with taking a step back, taking a breath, and making sure I am responding with my own goals and happiness in mind rather than those of others. That means I’ve been saying no a bit more.
Saying no is not easy, especially when our identity, friend group, and careers are all in development and everything feels so critical and pivotal.
Saying no is essential. How are we to develop our own thoughts, ideas, and mission if we are constantly at the beck and call of others?
It’s still not easy to keep my priorities in mind at all times, especially since being back in this place where I spent years wanting to keep saying yes. The difference now is that I have a much greater sense of what makes me happy. I know who my friends are (and are not). I trust my gut a whole lot more. I credit a lot of this clarity to putting myself in uncomfortable situations, by myself, and relying on my intuition and the support of those who matter most to me and seeing what happens. It started by leaving this place that was so comfortable and stimulating for so long.
I initially wanted to write a super short post about prioritizing because, at the moment, my priorities are continuing to train on the bike for the Everesting challenge in two weeks and doing a great job at work while I am in Williamstown and I didn’t think writing a full post would be possible. However, it made more sense as I started to write to provide more context on my thoughts. And, writing feels good and allows for even more clarity.
In closing, do things you enjoy doing. See how you feel before, during, and after doing those things. Keep a positive snowball effect going so your contentment and happiness are the standard, not something that takes a lot of work or adjusting.
Have a great rest of the week - talk more soon!
-Ben Grannis
#EyesUp
