Swimming in Uncertainty
For just over a month, I have felt a growing low level (and sometimes higher) of stress and concern about the state of things in our country. I know I am not alone in these feelings, and yet it often feels like I have nothing or no one to look to for reassurance that things will get better. Every day there is some other reckless action taken that impacts the lives of good, hardworking Americans dedicated to serving the public. There is no thought behind these actions and they are coming from unqualified, greedy, and power hungry individuals. It is embarrassing, infuriating, and depressing to watch this unfold.
It’s a long road ahead of us. But we will get through it! Photo: Death Valley National Park
I am generally a positive and optimistic person, or at least I try to be. In even the most challenging or trying of circumstances, I try to find the brighter spots because I don’t like to be sad or dwell in the negative. Right now, the only bright spot I have been able to find is that many of the civil servants who have dedicated their lives to make our lives better are still fighting the good fight and trying to keep the ship afloat. But how long can they hold this up? What if they’re removed or resign from fatigue?
What we are going through is the lowest I have felt in my life about our country and I strongly believe something positive has to come from this careless disrespect for our institutions and the people who support them. This is the time for a true leader to emerge who bridges the deep divide in our country and brings us together. It’s either that or we go down a really dark tunnel that I have no interest in going down.
I feel helpless when I read any news these days and yet I don’t want to put my head in the sand because this is a critical time for all of us. How can something feel so important and yet concrete steps to try to fix the situation don’t seem to exist?
All of this comes at a time when I am at the threshold of a career with the National Park Service I have spent a year trying to line up. Just two weeks ago, I received the email that so many other prospective federal employees received that my job offer from three months ago was rescinded with no explanation. I am fortunate to have few financial obligations and no family to support, unlike countless other folks who experienced the same result or who have been suddenly laid off from the supposedly most stable jobs in the country and return home to mouths to feed and payments to make.
I am also fortunate that this career path I have worked toward is exempt from the slashing within the government and a week after my job offer was rescinded, it was sent back out and now I am back “on track.” Yet every day there is another round of layoffs in another agency and it seems that there is nothing stable to hold onto right now. What do we do? Spiraling in negativity is not the answer and will only wear us out more.
In challenging times, in stressful times, and in emotional times, we must lean on our support networks. We must stick with what we know. We must control the controllables. We can control how we spend our time, what we consume, who we talk to, and how we spend our emotional energy. Our pack will always be there for us, and we have to be there for them. Let’s be present and act with kindness and be gentle with ourselves and those around us. Let’s go out of our way to thank those who are working for us and not for their own gain.
Like everything I write here, this is first and foremost for me and is not intended to be a lecture. I care deeply about the future of our country and I know we will get to the other side of this, but it’s going to take work. Don’t forget to take care of yourself - get outside, support our public lands, and hold close those you care about.
Talk soon - if you have any good news, please share it.
-Ben Grannis
#EyesUp
