For Her Father
Karen Torres’ father, Patrick Mapleson, was killed by a distracted driver in March 2006.
When I think about distracted driving, the first thing that comes to mind is texting or any other use of a cell phone while driving. These seem obvious and like the biggest culprit because they involve the use of external technology. But what about adjusting the stereo? Or reaching into the passenger seat to grab lipstick? Or applying said lipstick? Something as simple as taking a sip of water can be just as distracting and just as deadly as texting while driving.
A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of speaking to Karen Torres. She shared the story of a day that changed her family’s life forever.
On St. Patrick’s Day 2006, Patrick Mapleson, a highway maintenance worker for the New York State Department of Transportation, was working on pothole repair on a stretch of Long Island highway along with his crew when he was struck and killed by a distracted driver. Patrick was 66 and seven months away from his retirement.
The person who killed Patrick was a retired New York City fireman driving a cement truck - not a young driver on their phone. The driver was speeding and distracted by a falling water bottle.. As he reached down to pick up the water bottle, not only did he take his eyes off the road, he pulled the steering wheel down with him causing the cement truck to veer into the work zone, killing Patrick.
One of Patrick’s crew members was in a truck with an attenuator (a collision-absorbing device used in work zones to protect the crew) at the start of the construction zone. This worker could see the cement truck veering over and quickly began “wailing on the horn and screaming for everyone to run.” All of the workers ran to the left, but Patrick ran to the right, straight into the path of the truck. The driver “said when he looked up he and [Patrick] locked eyes” just before impact.
Patrick was Karen’s father. Karen described the days after her dad’s sudden death. “You feel so outside your body, it felt like it was so fake, like it was a dream” and that she was in “such a fog for the first three weeks.” When Patrick was killed, it had been less than 14 hours since Karen spoke to him for his birthday and was planning to see him two days later for dinner. Instead of hosting Patrick's birthday party that Sunday, Karen hosted his Wake.
It took some time for Karen to process and realize her calling, but then she felt it: “after about four years I had this burning desire to start sharing his story.” Since 2009, Karen has been all over New York state and the country speaking to high school students and adults in a laundry list of professions about distracted driving. Karen’s approach to teaching about this huge problem was not what I expected. She doesn’t harp on her father’s death for 45 minutes. Instead, she spends much of the time on practical methods to convey the message that “we all have the freedom to choose but we’re not free from the consequence of that choice.” Karen then weaves her father’s story into the presentation.
Karen described the feeling when she discovered the driver who killed her father was distracted as “sickening.” She uses both the emotions she has felt since her father’s death and his character as motivation for her work. Karen spoke lovingly about her dad and reflected on her childhood on Long Island. “Dad was one of those simple men who just loved fishing, boating and camping. All he wanted to do when he retired was buy a little shack by the water so he could fish and read. He loved his kids and grandkids. This 100% preventable crash destroyed us [as a family].”
Karen is committed to saving lives and preventing further deaths from distracted driving to prevent others from experiencing what her family endured when they lost Patrick. Patrick is her inspiration and what keeps her going. She named her website and brand “All4UDad” because “everything [she does] is for him. [She] can’t think of a better way of honoring him than by going around and sharing the story with the hopes [she] can save a life.”
Karen has been working hard for over a decade to raise awareness for the problem that affects all users of the road - distracted driving. Now, Patrick’s memory lives on in each of the students and workers she speaks to. As Karen said herself, the fight to end distracted driving “is an uphill battle,” but every person who hears Patrick’s story will undoubtedly be more aware of their habits while driving.
Karen has a grant with New York SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) which allows her to speak to schools across the state at no charge and speaks to about 13,000 students each year. Her work also extends to speaking at highway safety conferences and other businesses’ safety trainings. If you are interested in having Karen come speak at your high school or business, please contact her at Karen@all4udad.com or visit her website All4UDad.com.
I am so grateful to Karen for taking the time to share her father’s story with me and for the incredible amount of time and energy she has poured into making the roads a safer place for all of us. Let’s not just read and forget - don’t use your phone when driving. To help, turn on Driving Focus (formerly known as Do Not Disturb While Driving) on your iPhone (learn how in this short article) or Driving Mode on your Android (learn how here). Nothing is that important while you are on the road - it’s not just your life, it’s the lives of all road users you are saving.
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